Cosmetological rays…

While on Twitter yesterday, I noticed that a user had ‘cosmetologist’ listed in her bio. Being ignorant – and assuming it something to do with new age practices such as ‘astrology’ – I ignored it. It then came up again on a news page this morning, so I decided to investigate.

Turns out that it’s one of those inflated job titles – you know how caretakers and janitors are now premises managers and bin men are environmental maintenance officers? Essentially, it looks like a cosmetologist is a beautician.

Nothing wrong with that, except that the first step on the rung to becoming one probably means that you have to train as a ‘shampoo technician’. I’m going by the Wikipedia page here, but it gets more ridiculous the further that you read: apparently a ‘Cosmecaregiver’ works in a branch of cosmetology that “involves systematic coherent approach of newly developed medical beauty hygienic for hair, nails and skin of bedridden people.” What this means in plain English is up for debate – the whole page is couched in what linguists refer to as ‘utter bollocks’.

Along with the associated verb forms, we also have:

  • Desairologists
  • Esthecaregivers
  • Estheticians
  • Massagecaregivers
  • Nailtekcaregivers, and
  • Nailtekmedics

Admittedly, I’ve not seen any of these titles used in the UK, so I’m assuming that it’s a US thing. And, I’m not having a pop at beauty professionals in any way. It’s just that as a ‘wordtechologist’ qualified in ‘object-verb manipulation’ and ‘lexical syntax construction’,  I find the nomenclature baffling…