Bah, humbug!

The latest communication from my youngest son’s school, to remind parents about Christmas lunch:

“Dear Parents/Guardians

Just a reminder that Christmas lunch for all students is available tomorrow – Wednesday, 14th December.

Please ensure¬†your child’s lunch card is topped up as no loans will be given for Christmas lunch.”

My emphasis in the text above, as it struck me as a particularly unfestive attitude worthy of old Ebenezer Scrooge himself.

God bless us, every one!

An alternative literary canon…

Part mental exercise and part mischief, I came up with a list of literary classics that might have been:

  • Celsius 232.7
  • Sid Quixote
  • Three Men in a Dinghy
  • The Good Gatsby
  • The Loneliness of the Long Distance¬†Plumber
  • Modest Expectations
  • A Farewell to Legs
  • A Clockwork Apple
  • In Search of Lost Change
  • A Tale of Two Towns
  • Lady Loverly’s Chatter
  • Midday’s Children
  • The Importance of Being Serious
  • Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Milkman
  • The Bananas of Wrath
  • A Passage to Ibiza
  • Paradise Misplaced
  • The Lime of the Ancient Fruiterer
  • The Maltese Pigeon
  • Gulliver’s Travel Agent
  • Len and the Art of Boiler Maintenance
  • Finnegan’s Sleep
  • For Whom the Bell Rings

Well, it kept me amused…